McCain To Close Harlem Campaign Office

Citing sagging poll numbers, the McCain campaign has announced it is closing its Harlem campaign office in order to devote more resources into other locations where the Republican presidential candidate is more competitive. "We are in no way conceding the Harlem vote," said McCain campaign manager Reed Tweendelines. "We still feel we have a strong chance of making a good showing in that district. But with three weeks to go, we need to shift our focus a bit." One Harlem resident, Leroy Harris, lamented the McCain campaign's decision. "Sheeeeeit... Now I gots no place to spraypaint...."