In a burst of legislative productivity not seen since the days of the Great Depression, the U.S. Senate today convened an emergency session to debate the merits of daytime talk show queen Oprah Winfrey's latest Book of the Month, Silhouettes, the tome about a young girl, Ariana, who discovers her mother's diary in the attic after her death and is stunned to learn that Mom wasn't happy at times. Dabbing his eyes repeatedly during his big moment on the Senate floor, Sen. Arlen Spector (R-Pa) said, "Ariana's story has touched a nerve in all of us," and then quickly earmarked several million dollars for a new Borders to be constructed in Allentown. Spector was followed onto the Senate floor by Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nv), whose hands actually trembled as he talked about the book. "Moving," he said repeatedly in his patented whimpy, uninspiring voice. "Simply moving..."
The great citizens of America look forward to more legislative brilliance next week, when our distinguished Senators will wade into more controversial territory: a dispute between a truck driver, his lesbian ex-wife, and their babysitter, which aired recently on The Maury Povich Show...
Back to See Span Run
0 comments:
Post a Comment